A Silent Gift





I have an attention-seeking soul. And it's ravenous. It's learnt to behave in company but in the middle of the night sometimes it wakes up, rummaging through the food cupboards, insatiable.

I crave approval and I crave affection. I'd like to engineer things to avoid anyone in my circle of influence being unhappy, disappointed or frustrated. And how is this weird omnipotence fantasy working out for me you wonder? Not well. I can't be everywhere at once. I don't have (anything near) perfect wisdom. I don't have the power to change circumstances, or others, or myself. But the idolatrous affections of our hearts are fierce slave-drivers and I will soon find myself on the treadmill again. Trying.

Idols are always vacuums; they're leaky cups. The necessary consequence of being an approval junkie is that when the words of affirmation do come they will always leak out, my ears deafened now by their own doubt. Idols promise what they can never deliver. Worst of all, they make you unable to recognise what is true because they train you to expect it to look completely different.

In Jesus, I have the best kind of attention. I have limitless affection. I have deep, relentless, irremovable love. Jesus is always available, always interested, always full of compassion and tenderness.

But it's a silent gift. There are no fanfares, no viral videos. I don't have to do anything to get his attention. There's nothing I can do to get more of his attention. I already have his attention. Jesus just remains the same as he always has been - loving me before the foundation of the world, thinking of me way before I had any idea who he was, steadfastly caring for me despite me burying my head in the sand of my foolishness and unbelief. I will never have to compete with anyone for his love because he has chosen to set his love upon me - 'And he is not a man that he should lie or change his mind.' (Numbers 23:19). I don't have to try and explain what's going on because he knows and understands me perfectly. I don't have to try to describe what my pain feels like because he has walked the road of suffering before me in my place. He knows. I don't have plead with him to pray for me - he already is. He lives to do that.

In Jesus, I have THE perfect home, friend, brother, husband, protector, defender, provider. I have THE perfect hiding place and resting place. I have treasure, riches, food, water, medicine. I have safety, a covering, righteousness, holiness and honour. I have wisdom, knowledge and understanding. I have the perfect sacrifice, shelter, shield, shepherd and Saviour. I have comfort, strength, hope and peace that the world could never give and that can't be taken away.

It's a silent, invisible gift. But it comes from the one who knows what I need.

"The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field." Matthew 13:44





Comments

  1. Thank you for this wonderful reminder of His Faithfulness!

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  2. Thanks for being so encouraging Esther:)

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  3. This is so me: that attention-seeking soul...ready to overcome it day by day!

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  4. "I already have his attention." How often do I forget or believe the opposite. Thank you friend for this reminder. <3

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